Crusin' 2013

Over February vacation, Nick and I were lucky enough to be invited on a cruise with my parents. We had such a blast, and after everything we had gone through, it was a really nice way to re-connect and start the process of moving forward. We all had an amazing time together-from gourmet meals, to snorkeling in Cozumel, to climbing Dunn's Falls in Jamaica, it was family time that I will cherish forever.

Here are some of the highlights: 

Dressing Room Diaries-Spring Edition

Have you seen all the fun, bright looks out there for Spring? I am loving all the neon, floral and stripes that I see in every store I go into. After such a long, cold, snowy winter, these bright colors are just what I need!

Here are some of the latest looks I have been trying out...

Old Navy: 

TJ Maxx: 

Which looks are you trying out this season?!

Look for the helpers....

This tragedy in Boston, a city which I have called home for the past 8 years has rocked me to my core. It is so horrifying and frightening that something like this could happen, so close to home...you just never think something like this can happen. It's been tough celebrating a birthday and welcoming a new year of life when there are so many heavy hearts around this city. But that's what we have tried to do, because in the face of evil, we can't back down. There is more good in this world than bad and in the end, good will always win.

Watching the events unfold on the news has just been heartbreaking, but I've found comfort in an old Mr. Roger's quote, that is often brought up when tragedy hits, and it's rang so true to me lately:

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

Throughout this tragedy, there are so many helpers that have come through. I've been so comforted by the outpouring of kindness, love and support during this time. From the people that finished the race and then ran right on to the area hospitals to donate blood, to the man who lives a block away and passed out juice and snacks to the wounded, to the people who live on the marathon route right near the school I work at who opened their homes to those needing a place to stay. The kindness of people has shone through in a huge way and I am so proud of this city. We have showed the world how tough we are and how selfless we are. It's been a huge glimmer of light amidst the darkness of this evil act.

As our president stated, "Boston is a tough and resilient town.  So are its people.  I’m supremely confident that Bostonians will pull together, take care of each other, and move forward as one proud city."

Love you, Boston xo

We gonna party like it's our....

So, with my husband's and my birthday being a day apart-mine was yesterday and his is today-our birthday's are a pretty big celebration around here. This year we kept it low key and had both our families visit for the weekend, which was really fun. On our actual birthdays, we celebrated by going out to dinner and walking our dog...I guess we really are getting old!

Nick entered the last year of his twenties, and I'm 2 years behind at 27. This past year, especially these last few months have been some of the toughest times of our lives, so we gladly cheered on a new start and a new year, here's hoping 27 and 29 are healthier and happier!

My birthday cupcake! 

Nick's cake (he adamantly requested Betty Crocker-ugh!) 

My birthday present from my parents! 

A birthday walk

relaxing post-walk with Gert! 

birthday sangria!

Happy birthday babe! I'm so lucky to have you as my husband, best friend, and partner-in-crime! I love you so much and look forward to celebrating many more birthdays by your side xoxo

In my absence...

So as you may or may not have noticed, it's been quite some time since I've last posted here. Since I've been gone a great deal of change has occurred. In a lot of ways I've gone through something that has changed me and in a way, I can never be quite the same person I was before.

We found out the joyous news that we were expecting on December 20, 2012, a few days before Christmas. We were so over the moon overjoyed and couldn't believe how we had been blessed. We (naively) shouted the news from the rooftops and shared it with everyone we could. Especially since it was around Christmas, we were around family and friends we wouldn't see for awhile, so why not share the happy news, we thought...

I knew we were taking a risk by sharing the news so early, but so what? I thought...we were so out of our minds ecstatic that we just couldn't hold it in.

Our lives changed forever on that cold February day. It wasn't just a few weeks earlier at our first ultrasound that we saw the microscopic heart pumping away. Our hearts sang out with joy at that little blip. Our hearts grew 10 sizes that day. We loved our little one with our whole hearts. We loved someone we had never met before, someone who wasn't but the size of a grape. We poured our hearts and souls into that little blip. We dreamed dreams that we never knew we had for that little blip.

Our lives changed forever that day. No longer was there a little heart pumping a way. A life that we had created, gone just like that. Gone so quickly, from a beating little blip to nothing. Stillness. Gone.

Two months later, it still feels like a struggle every day. A struggle to try and be that carefree happy-go-lucky person that I was, because I do want to be that person. I don't want what I've gone through to have changed me for the worse. But at the same time, I know that I've changed. I feel stronger in a way, and I feel so much closer to my husband than I've ever felt before. We've been to the darkest point in our lives, we've been to hell and back. But we got through it. Together.

But I worry. I worry that my heart is just a little bit harder. That I never really knew this type of pain existed before and now that I've been through it, I'm worried I'll never quite be the same. Even though I've grieved, yes I've grieved and I've cried more than I've ever cried before. Yes, I've embarrassed myself with emotional outbursts while out for drinks with friends.

But I guess that's what they call the healing process, and I do think it's a process. As time goes on it does get better and I do know that it will continue to get better. I already look forward to the day we bring our child home. I know it will never erase what we've gone through, but maybe, just maybe it will make the joy that much sweeter.

So, I apologize for my absence, I just haven't quite been myself these past few months. But I feel like I'm starting to see glimmers of my old self, and that in time I'll heal. We'll heal. It didn't feel right sitting in silence, and I didn't want to pretend it didn't happen. I just didn't have the words. I feel ready now to let it out and share my story. I want to share the good times, of course, but this is life, this is my life and something that I've gone through and am going through.

Hopefully there will be good times ahead, and happy stories to share, because I have many of those as well. And I've learned that that really is what it's all about. Surrounding yourself with people that make you happy. People that you know will be there for you no matter what. People that you are blessed to have in your life. And I have so many of these wonderful people in my life, and I AM so very blessed. Thank you to all who continue to show their love and support. It means the world to me.

xo